Something to brighten your day

We've all been there. A friend, new to the joys of computers, is having problems, rings you and asks you to guide them through the process. The problem being they don't actually listen and try to run before they can walk...

I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she iscurrently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.    

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):                     

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help

you?'   

Caller:   'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'                             

Caller:   'Well, I was just typing along, and

all of a sudden the words went away.'                                           

Operator: 'Went away?'                                        

Caller: 'They disappeared.'                               

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen

look like now?'        

Caller:   'Nothing.'                                        

Operator: 'Nothing??'                                          

Caller:   'It's blank; it won't accept

anything when I  type.'                                                                 

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect,

or did you get out??'

Caller:   'How do I tell?'                                  

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'          

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'                            

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around

the screen?'                                                               

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't

accept anything I type.'                                               

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'         

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'                               

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that

looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells

you when it's on??'  

Caller: 'I don't know.'                                  

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor

and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see

that??'           

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'                                

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell

me if it's plugged into the wall.                                            

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'                                     

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you

notice that there were two cables plugged into the back

of it, not just one??'                                                                 

Caller: 'No.'                                            

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back

there again and find the other cable.'                                       

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'                              

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged

securely into the back of your computer.'                              

Caller: 'I can't reach.'                                 

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'              

Caller: 'No.'                                            

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something

and lean way over??'                                                       

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right

angle - it's because it's dark.'                                       

Operator: 'Dark??'                                            

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only

light I have is coming in from the window.                            

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'                     

Caller: 'I can't.'                                       

Operator: 'No? Why not??'                                     

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'               

Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay,

we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes

and manuals and packing stuff your computer

came in??'                                                    

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'          

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, unplug your system and

pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take

it back to the store you bought it from.'                                             

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'                       

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'                          

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I

tell them??'                                                           

Operator: 'Tell them you're too f ---ing stupid to own

a computer!!!!!'